Battlefield

Captain Derpy Hooves: The Second Derpening

The sound of the Sodon's engine hummed throughout the ship, keeping most of the crew awake. Before, the crew was looking forward to their Side 3 trip. Three days in travel limbo had put an end to that. The captain strode down to the bridge again, eager to check the status of the trip. Graham Schwartz and Nevada Noir were at the controls, while the mascot was asleep in his bed.

A monoeye was drifting into view.

"Now we find out if that clearance code was worth the trouble we went through," Graham volunteered.

"Clearance code?" Nevada chirped.

"You need to get out more.." he responded, bored and blase as the Zaku came into view. He sipped at some Moon Yoohoo he had bought on the Moon from a Moon shop.

"WE ARE THE SIDE 3 PATROL PATROL. OF SIDE 3. WE WILL BE BOARDING YOU IN A NON-THREATENING WAY TO BOARD YOUR CARGO IN A NON-THREATENING WAY," the Zaku's pilot communicated in heavily German-accented English.

"This is Rum Runner, we accept your inspection. Just don't scratch the paint job," Graham casually responded. "Guess they're really afraid of being considered threatening," Graham smiled, sipping at his chocolaty drink. The Zaku floated into the hangar bay. A few Oggos flied by. The captain was there at the deck, responsible as always to greet the traveler and grant him clearance.

"Bark!" the captain greeted.

The Zaku pilot petted the cute little corgi, then rubbed his belly as he turned over. Derpy Hooves rolled around the hangar bay, petted by the pilot, and the two giggled and had fun together. The pilot talked about his Dachshund he had back in Zum City, for everyone in the city has Space Dachshunds they acquire at Space Oktoberfest. Space.

Some chatter at the Zaku's cockpit brought the pilot back there, and he radioed in that they were simple traders and wonderful people. The Zaku pilot boarded his mobile suit, and Derpy did a small dance to celebrate his exit, before putting on his Dog Normal Suit and drinking Dog Space Moon Yoohoo, which he acquired in Dog Space. Moon.

The Zaku joined up with the patrol of Oggos, and they returned to their maneuvers.

"Welcome to Side 3!" Nevada Noir announced on the ship's comms.

Jeremiah Black opened his eyes for a second, then turned and went back to sleep.

Outcome
Anaheim Electronics Victory
  • Jeremiah Black: 1 VP gained, No Damage




Stop. Moon Police Time.

"...and if you sign up for our pension program, Mr. Layzner, the Zeon Reform Party will not only pay to relocate you and your girlfriend back to Side 3, but we'll also cover any medical expenditures to fit you with a prosthetic arm."

Tony Knight had ventured deep into the heart of the lunar capital Von Braun as soon as word of a disabled Zeon veteran, Kelly Layzner, living there reached him. He had heard the one-armed pilot had been approached by his commanding officer, Veronica Wu, and a Federation soldier with offers of recruitment, but both had been hit with a fine by local militia after Kelly had reported the disturbance. The charismatic head of the Zeon Reform Party had made it his mission to either repatriate all of Zeon's lost lambs back to the homeland or to ensure that they were cared for. He had gone armed only with a sales pitch and an offer, expecting nothing in return from the cautious Kelly, but had been invited in to discuss the matter over a cup of tea. Now, Kelly sat before him looking at the ZRP pension registration form.

"What's the catch?" Kelly asked. "No catch, Lieutenant Layzner. You sign your name here, I file the paperwork with my offices back in New Berlin, and within a week you'll receive your first payment. We don't even require you to join our political party, though you are welcome to do so if you choose. We are also hiring people with exceptional talents and offer positions in the reformed Republic Defense Force to interested applicants."

Reluctantly, as if still waiting for Tony's angle to come out, Kelly signed the paper and slid it back to the ZRP director. For a moment, he considered rejoining the Zeon army, yearning to feel useful again, but he had made a promise to Latura to give up piloting. "Thanks, but I'm out-"

"KELLY!" his lover suddenly shouted from the front door.

Kelly quickly rose to his feet, Tony Knight right behind after tucking away the application. The two Zeons saw a uniformed Federal Forces soldier standing there, one hand resting on the butt of his service pistol.

"You again?" Kelly spat. "I told you yesterday I wasn't interested in joining your damn Federation! The war ended!"

"And I want to keep that mobile armor out of the Delaz Fleet's hands!" Luke Forte countered.

Tony Knight stepped forward and extended his hand to the Feddie. "I'm Tony Knight, chairman of the Zeon Reform Party. I assure you, sir, that we've just negotiated to send the Val Varo mobile armor back to Side 3 for decommissioning!"

Luke snorted and slapped the hand aside. "Yeah, sure. I'm going to believe a Zeon is going to just take the teeth out of a weapon like that. Turn it over to the Federation!"

Tony Knight sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He hadn't worked hard for months urging the government to cooperate with the Federal Forces just so they could stomp around wherever they wanted to harass their defeated enemies. He set his briefcase aside and straightened his collar. "The Zeon Reform Party is a public organization that has made its business and veteran services affairs a matter of public record. You're more than welcome to examine our data and see for yourself that we are sincere in our disarmament philosophy."

Luke spat on the steps of Kelly's shack, drawing a growl from the disabled veteran. Tony sighed again and looked back at Kelly, nodding. The two Zeons stood united before the Feddie pilot, daring him to press the issue further. Luke's hand clamped down on his pistol, preparing to draw. Before he could, the two Zeons slugged him in the jaw at the same moment, dropping him to the ground.

"You'll pay-!" Luke began to roar before squealing tires announced a new arrival.

"Nobody expects the Lunar Inquisition!"

Numerous Lunarian guards and marines poured forward, taking up positions around the three brawlers. An officer with a wide-brimmed, feathered hat stepped forward and examined the situation.

"Mr. Layzner, I see you're being disturbed again," Lia Yi noted. "How fortunate we had you under observation. We'll haul these two ruffians off and get a statement from you later."

"Wait!" Kelly stepped forward and placed a hand on Tony's shoulder. "I'm with him, so you'll have to take me in too."

Tony's eyes widened with surprise. "Lieutenant, you don't-!"

"Hey, you were the one who offered me a job in the defense force, right? I'm just taking you up on it. Besides, it's probably safer for Latura back in Side 3."

Tony turned and shook Kelly's hand before the Moon Police hauled them and Luke Forte off to a Von Braun precint.

Outcome
Lunar Union Victory
  • Tony Knight: 6 CP Gained, Captured
  • Luke Forte: 5 CP, 6 CP Gained, Injured 1, Captured
  • Lia Yi: 8 CP Gained, No Damage