The Adventures of Rhett Paruta

OOC: Sprite comics are quasi-canon for Rhett. They're an attempt at humorously interpreting things that happened to him.

Shortly after "Ando Shoji and Rhett Paruta ambush Aurem Senaiha"

"Damn," the captain spat. "That's a lot of damage for one shot."

Rhett stood silent and motionless as the captain made his comments. The other officers murmured similar opinions as they took down notes. The Federation's mobile suits still had some surprises for Zeon, it seemed, and every bit of footage and information was useful. The battle video moved into Rhett's weapons barrages against the enemy GM, explosions all over the hill, and then the hit on the sniper rifle.

"This was some good intel you've brought us, Paruta," the captain acknowledged. "And you've possibly saved the life of a Zeon officer. The brass like these kinds of things."

The captain reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a small baggie. "That's why it is with great pleasure that I am to give you this insignia showing your promotion to the rank of Corporal. Congratulations."

"Thank you, sir," Rhett answered as he saluted. He replaced his old Ensign insignia with his new rank and made sure it was straight.

"And now that you've shown us you're capable of taking orders," the captain continued. "You will now be given a chance to GIVE orders."

"Sir?"

"You will be assigned two Dopp fighter escorts now and your own Dodai unit after your next mission," the captain explained. "None of the local commands currently have room for them in their squadrons, so we're giving you a chance to lead."

The captain pulled an envelope from his desk and handed it to Rhett. "You will accompany Corporal Steiner's team and an experimental mobile armor from Lhasa in attack another one of those Federal mobile suits. We expect you to gather more good data for us, Corporal Paruta."

Rhett saluted, turned, and left the office. He noticed a pair of pilots, a short, chubby woman and a dark-skinned man standing at attention right outside the door.

"Looks like whoever's next can go in," Rhett said to them. "They're in a pretty good mood too, it sounds."

The woman said something that was lost to Rhett as he walked off to go find out who Corporal Steiner was. He heard the sound of coordinated footsteps behind him and wondered for a heartbeat if the rumored "secret police" hadn't found some excuse to spirit him off into the night, but out of the corner of his eye he noticed it was the pair of pilots that were standing outside the captain's office.

"What are you two following me for?" Rhett asked, trying not to be annoyed.

"Well, sir, as I said outside the office," the woman answered. "We're your new wingmen."

"Oh." Rhett hadn't been listening.

"I'm the kawaii Private Alta Flemister!" the woman answered, jiggling a little as she saluted in an exaggerated manner. "It's an honor to be serving under you, Corporal-sama!"

"I'm Private Louie Longanecker," the dark-skinned man replied, extending his hand to shake.

Rhett shook Louie's hand. "Glad to have you aboard. I just got our first orders as a team, but we don't deploy until tomorrow so we have time to get acquainted and have a briefing. Any questions?"

Alta "ooh"ed as she bounced. "Will we be working with..." she blushed. "...Captain Char? He's such a bishie!"

Rhett raised an eyebrow. He had no idea what a "bishie" was, but he knew for sure Char Aznable was nowhere in their immediate future. "No, we'll be working with Corporal Steiner's team and a mobile armor."

Alta's eye wibbled with disappointment, but she said nothing.

"This is a real combat mission, sir?" Louie asked. "Not a simulation or training exercise?"

"Um...yes," Rhett answered. "This will be genuine combat against, to our best knowledge, a single opponent. A cake run pretty much."

Louie's face paled a little and Alta looked a little more interested.

"Is there a problem, Privates?" Rhett asked.

Louie shifted from foot-to-foot and Alta looked down at her feet.

"They told us you would be training us, sir," Louis said. "They taught us the controls, but we haven't done more than a simulation flight after we got here."

Rhett sighed and rubbed his nose. He'd thought he'd gotten through the hard part of the day after the battle with the GM.

Shortly after Over Tunisia

"Sir?"

Rhett sat in the office he had been temporarily assigned in the small outpost the Pink Panthers occupied between patrols, staring at the portable computer in front of him. The beginnings of a letter to Alta's family hung there, ready for their friends to come and form a complete sentence.

"Their things arrived from Beijing, sir. A courier just dropped them off."

Rhett tried typing a few more words, but they just wouldn't come out. His eyes kept drifting to a piece of paper sitting on the desk, a letter Alta had written to her father. He sighed and picked it up to read again.

"Sir?"

Rhett set the letter down and turned to face Cora Posada, who was shakily holding a couple of boxes. She briefly tried to salute, but almost lost her grip on the box in her arms and settled for smiling at him instead.

"Thank you, Private," Rhett said at last, taking one of the boxes from her. "This is everything? Really?"

Cora shrugged. "They told me to fit everything I could in my cockpit before we left Beijing. There's a small box with my stuff in it too, but nothing for you."

Rhett hadn't brought a lot of stuff to Earth with him. Just a few photos, a few old novels, a small video player, and a Geode his father had brought back to Side 3 with him after he began working for Zeon.

"Fair enough," he replied. "Go find some packing tape and we'll have this stuff sent off as soon as I'm done writing."

Cora nodded and left Rhett to his writings. What brave words could he say to reassure the families of two kids who had gotten throw to Earth that their loves ones hadn't died in vain? Louis would probably be easier to write for; he hadn't fired a shot so he could rightfully tell his father that he had been true to his beliefs and been brave at the same time.

But Alta? She'd been a thrill-seeker with a crush on a bonafied Zeon war hero and a weight problem. Rhett had tried pushing her into the kind of routine he'd gone through at the academy, but they hadn't been working together long enough to make a difference.

"If I'd known she was just going to die a few days later," Rhett mused. "I wouldn't have taken away that Pocky stuff she liked snacking on."

He mulled over what kind of letter he would write when Cora reentered with a couple rolls of tape.

"Do you know anything about writing, Private?" Rhett asked, leaning back in his seat.

"Well, I was in a creative writing club in high school," she replied. "Why?"

"I'm a bit stumped about what to write to Alta's folks," Rhett answered. "All I know about her was that she felt like she was some kind of super hero for flying a Dopp and that she had a crush on Captain Char Aznable."

Cora thought about it as she began taping the box of Louis' possession shut. "Well, she gave us that warning about the Cods behind us right? Write about how she saved our loves at the cost of her own and that she was a hero."

Rhett nodded and began to finish the letter.

"So where are we headed next?" Cora asked after she finished sealing the boxes.

"The Pink Panthers are getting replacement pilots in, so we're going to have to move out," Rhett answered. "We're moving to an outpost near Kimberlite until my Zaku's repaired."

"Can we visit Johannesburg while we're down there?" Cora asked, smiling sweetly. "Please?"

Rhett shrugged. Johannesburg was as good as a pit in the middle of the plains. "Sure, just as long as we can find a Japanese place while we're there."

Hushed patrons ooh'ed and aah'ed as the Teppan grill chef casually juggled a trio of eggs with a spatula. With the ease of a practiced master, he tapped them on the top and poured their contents onto the sizzling grill. Cora Posada laughed and cheered as the chef caught an egg in his hat and turned to Rhett.

"This is so exciting!" she whispered. "Who knew cooking could be this much fun to watch?"

"If you think that part's good," Rhett whispered back. "Wait til you see what's next."

While they weren't looking, the chef had put a small pile of rice on Cora's plate.

"Special sauce?" the chef asked.

"Oh sure," Cora answered half-aware.

The chef lifted the small bottle and suddenly squeezed it at hard as he could. A small red string shot out at Cora's face and she recoiled, screaming. Rhett laughed lightly as he picked up the private's glasses and helped her back into her seat.

"Told ya you'd like it," Rhett said with a wink.

"D'oooooh!" Cora moaned. "Got me good."

The pair enjoyed their meal thoroughly, finishing at a leisurely pace when he heard a gruff voice.

"I'm looking for this man," the voice said. "Have you seen him?"

"He-he's right over there!" the panicked cashier squeeked before hiding underneath the counter.

The footsteps grew increasingly louder and sounded like the thick-soled body-stompers the Zeonic military police tended to wear. It wasn't until the sound stopped right behind him and harsh breathing flowed over his hair that Rhett realized that the gruff voice was right behind him.

"Corporal Paruta," a stuffy voice bellowed. "What are you doing here and not at Kimberlite as you were ordered?"

Rhett turned and stood to look the rude man in the eye, though he had to look down to do so. A small blonde man wearing what looked like a cape stared back up at him with several muscles on his face twitching.

"You're a little short for military police, aren't you?" Rhett asked.

That riled the short man even more. "If you weren't my commanding officer," the man swore. "I would slap you for that insult."

Rhett glanced at Cora, who simply shrugged as she packed their remaining food into a to-go container. Rhett shook his head.

"Uh...sure," Rhett muttered. "Let's take this outside so we don't disrupt these nice folks."

Rhett and Cora followed the stuffy man out of the restaurant and onto the curb where a sedan waited with its engine running. The small man climbed into the car and motioned for the two pilots to follow him.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" the man demanded. "Get in!"

"I don't know who the hell you are," Rhett growled. "But I'm not getting into a non-descript car just because some toadstool who calls me his superior says so. I want some answers first."

"Stop the car," the short man said to the driver. "I'm Private Dino Kofutua, the newest member of your mobile suit team. This car is taking us back to the base here in Johannesburg and our mobile suits."

Rhett rubbed his chin. "No, I think Private Posada and I will be taking alternate transportation to the base. You go on ahead and meet us there."

Dino looked like he was ready to bite Rhett's head off, but instead muttered something about commoners and ordered the driver to go.

"What an unpleasant fellow," Cora remarked. "Doesn't sound like the subordinate type."

"If he really is our subordinate," Rhett added. When Cora looked at him strangely, Rhett grinned. "Can't let you be taking orders from the squad newbie until he earns a higher rank."

Cora grinned all the way back to base as Rhett hailed a taxi.

Loud, wet footsteps rang through Rhett's ears. A rhythmic pounding of giant feet filled the air with their metallic thunder. He could feel the hard handles of a Mobile Suit's control sticks in his hands and he flexed his fingers to find they weren't covered by the usual pilot's gloves. Though the entire cockpit was dark except for the main camera monitor, which glowed darkly, showing nothing outside. He shivered a little and felt very little on his body, just a scarce hospital uniform.

"Where am I?" he asked aloud. "Is anyone out there?"

He felt for the mobile suit's communications gear and set it to broadcast on an open channel.

"Hello?"

A faint "hello" echoed through whatever chamber Rhett was moving through. The ground shook lightly with the passing of the echo and Rhett stopped his mobile suit in his tracks. The cockpit panels and monitors suddenly lit to life, showing Rhett that he was in a Zaku Cannon's cockpit. Not his, he thought, as that was currently being repaired in Malta Base. The chamber he was in suddenly lit up around him, showing an endless tunnel with strange, vine-covered walls which began squirming as the Zaku's eye looked back and forth.

"Hello?"

The echo had somehow bounced back to Rhett as the chamber dimmed again. Rhett stopped the Zaku from moving forward. He lifted its arm, hoping to see a weapon in its hand. A dark grey heat hawk greeted Rhett and he ordered the weapon to come to life, hoping the weapon still had juice. Fortunately, the dull blade began glowing a fierce orange, showing that it still had teeth. Thankful for that small miracle and the twenty live rounds he found in his new ride's backpack.

As he flicked the heat hawk off, the walls began to writhe and Rhett could hear something slowly lowering from above, as if being dropped by a crane. Rhett turned up to look to see a red and black mass being lowered by a pair of thick, yellow trunks. It looked like a large mobile suit's head with a mobile suit torso on top.

"Well, well, well," the giant head said, grinning. "Looks like another little lost Zeon found his way into my den."

"Who are you?" Rhett demanded, aiming his cannon at the thing.

"Haven't you heard of the White Devil?" it asked, shocked. "The great and powerful Gundam that can't be killed even by the Red Comet?"

The yellow cables, which were connected to large hands, retracted into the Gundam's shoulders. Two large, think legs extended from its second head and it towered above the Zaku Cannon.

"You can't even kill a cheap copy of me!" it bellowed. "How do you expect to survive against me?"

Rhett raised the heat hawk to defend himself, but it refused to light up.

"Damn you!" he yelled to the heat hawk. "How could you only have the juice for five seconds?"

The Gundam swung a giant fist, catching the Zaku in the chest and sending it reeling. Rhett tried to fire his cannon, but the shells wouldn't launch. With no other options, Rhett charged into and slugged the Gundam on its shin, the only part of the strange mobile suit in the Zaku's punching range. With a chuckle, the Gundam casually kicked the Zaku in the side and watched it sprawl. The large claw extended from its shoulders once more as it prepared to finish Rhett off.

"Corporal-kun!"

The voice cut through the air and into Rhett's heart. A pair of Dopps seemed to fly out of nowhere and began to pepper the giant Gundam with their machineguns.

"Alta?" Rhett called out in surprise. "Louie?! But you're dead!"

"That's right, sir," Louie said as he strafed the Gundam with missiles. "But we're the only backup you have right now."

The Gundam roared as it swung its claws and fists around, trying to catch the agile fighters.

"I failed you two once before though," he moaned. "Like I almost failed Cora at Malta."

"You need to stop blaming yourself for that by the way," Alta stated. "Captain Char wouldn't be freezing up like this. He knows that it's a soldier's duty to risk his life."

Rhett tried to get the Zaku to stand, but it refused to move. A wave of shame at how casual his two former subordinates were treating their deaths washed over him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough leader or pilot then," Rhett cried.

"It's not your fault we didn't have the skill we needed," Louie agreed. "You did the best you could in the time we had. If anyone's at fault, it's the Tin Cods who got behind us that are to blame."

Rhett took in their words as he slowly brought the Zaku to its feet.

"Thanks for the letter you sent my dad, by the way," Louie continued. "Hearing about my death hurt him, but he was pleased to hear what you said about me."

The two Dopps narrowly avoided being clubbed.

"You're a failure!" the Gundam roared. "You hide behind the strength of others!"

"It's not hiding!" Alta screamed, blasting the Gundam's face. "Being part of a team is relying on the strength of your partners!"

Alta's Dopp swooped in from behind the Gundam and spun after nearly being hit. The Gundam's face twisted into a grin and swung one of its large claws to destroy the annoying Dopp. Within the rounded cockpit, Alta shrinked back as impending doom rushed towards her.

Before it could end Alta's afterlife though, a flash of orange cut through its yellow arm and the claw fell lifeless to the ground.

"That was ridiculous," Rhett said. "Throwing a heat hawk is something Lieutenant Shoji would probably do."

The Gundam turned to see the Zaku standing tall and proud, with its cannon aimed at the Gundam's face. Round after round was spat from the cannon and smashed into the Gundam's body. Chunks of armor flew everywhere as its body shattered like glass. Rhett stood over the broken body of the Gundam, but turned in time to see the two Dopps flying away.

"It's time for us to go now, sir," Louie said, his voice slowly fading.

"You've been sleeping on the job, Corporal-kun," Alta joined in. "Very unprofessional."

Rhett reached for the two to stop, but they were gone before he could take a step. A grinding cough brought his attention to the ground, where the Gundam looked up at him with dead eyes.

"The mind is a scary place, Zeek," the Gundam growled. "But the real world is even worse."

"Then I'll see you in Hell after we meet," Rhett countered, crushing the Gundam's head beneath his foot.

The Zaku turned to look around the tunnel. The walls had stopped moving and the light was slowly fading away, even those inside the cockpit. Rhett sighed at the approaching darkness and looked for something, anything, as long as he could see it. The world went dark and stayed dark, and soon the only thing he could hear was his own breathing. He starting the Zaku moving again, if only so he could hear its powerful, familiar footsteps.

"Hello?" he called out again. Again, his voice echoed down the halls.

For what seemed like an eternity, Rhett's world seemed composed of the thundering of his Zaku's footsteps. Unexpectedly, his call suddenly went answered.

"Hello?"

It didn't sound like his own echo had come back like last time, so Rhett paused in his march.

"Hello? Rhett?"

Pain filled his body as the echo rang again.

"Sergeant Paruta! Wake up!"

Rhett's world was suddenly filled with light again as he found himself lying in a bed instead of in a Zaku's cockpit. A medic, Genevieve, Cora, and Dino were standing around his bedside.

"Thank God! What the hell was that, doc?" Genevieve yelled.

"Just a bad reaction to the drugs we gave him," the medic noted. "We'll have to make a note of that in his medical record."

"Bad reaction?" Cora said. "He was practically screaming in his sleep after that little dose."

"The hell is going on?" Rhett mumbled, too tired to sit up.

"You were having bad nightmares after the medic gave you a tranquilizer while he was patching up your chest, sir," Dino answered, the only one not berating the medic at the moment. "You were shouting a lot of gibberish too."

"I bet I was," Rhett replied. "Can I get a drink?"

"Water only for now, I'm afraid," the medic apologized. "Not until you've gotten it all out of your system."

Rhett sat up long enough to take a large drink offered to him by Dino. He clenched his eyes shut for a moment. "Where's what's-his-name, Nostril Guy?"

"He's fine, sir," Dino replied with a shiver. "I saw him walking around base with the MPs making suit there were no hidden surprises."

"Oh, good," Rhett grinned. "You mind letting me go back to sleep then? And no nightmare juice this time?"