|
"So here's what you missed last week." "Draco is convinced he lost his heat hawk but really Andrew stole it." The screen flashes momentarily to a shot of Andrew in a dark room, using the heat hawk to cut up cocaine. "And Radune is seeing Cherry, but she's really just using him to get Toudou Gakuens setlists." The screen then moves to a shot of Radune and Cherry making out in the back of the locker room. Ryocha walks by accidentally and blushes like a ripe tomato. "Oh, and Ryocha is super jealous. And Thomas has been trying a fundraiser selling insurance to raise money for Toudous costumes, but Marcus and Chris found out it was a scam." The screen moves to a shot of Kale and Deacon flying their mobile suits towards the degraded husk of the Aviary, a bearded and turbaned Thomas Bin Sauntier inside planning the destruction of All Your Base when-- oh wait, wrong movie. The film reel stops and is switched to a shot of Thomas being run out of town by Marcus, Chris and Ci Lain weilding broken beer bottles. "And Cid is getting really annoyed because he is being teamed up with a bunch of people who never do any roleplaying, except for Jim who is annoying and Ming who keeps beating him up." The screen moves to a shot of Ming slamming Cid against a wall and pouring a grape slushy into his well manicured hair. "Everybody is wondering where Jojo and is, he hasn't been coming to practice because he's secretly roleplaying with some LARP group about five times a day. It was a big secret, that is until Malacai found out." The camera moves to a night shot of Jojo on the pier, running around with fake vampire fangs and a cape on. Malacai is walking home from late night choir recital and sees it, screeches like a girl and runs away. "Gaplant has been missing practices too, but he's just trying to find the perfect manly song for sectionals." The screen changes to a shot of Gaplant crosslegged in front of his bed in a dark room, inches in front of a TV blasting the theme to Getter Robo. "And Chan was really let down when the teacher told me his choreography maps were way too detailed and they couldn't use them." The scene moves to a shot of a crying Chan running down the halls, tearing up a drawing notebook. Braddigan is shown passing him, wearing a tight cheerleading outfit and with tears in his eyes. "Oh! And Braddigan was kicked off the cheerleading squad. Boy is Mr. Auclair mean." "And that's what you missed, on" The scene is Toudou Gakuen, a school covered with fighting, strife, and martial arts. Even the lowliest of clubs was filled with martial arts masters, and chaos ran amok in its halls after class. However, one club swore to tell the story of it all, in the manliest way possible... As the music begins to play, Ryocha is seen leaping out into the hall, a schoolgirl uniform thinly hiding her enormous boobs. On her shoulder is a bamboo sword, and in her free hand an ornamental fan. Suddenly Advocate, Feyd, Daren, Janadian and Bigby are flanking her, grunting, posing and providing the ensemble. Party time! Right here... Yeah! Time to Party Time! Party time! Right here... Yeah! Unh! Suddenly Gaplant popped into view, breakdancing in front of Ryocha and carrying a sword. Moedasu youna atsui tamashii! Oh yeah! Starting the next line, Altoh busted into the room, tapdancing and then sticking his tongue out to the camera. Muchashite shitta hondou no ore wo! Suddenly everybody fanned into a line and began doing the Charlston like clockwork, spinning and grooving in the school halls. Bomb bomb bomb a head! Bomb bomb bomb a head! Next to burst onto the scene was Tylatz, who did some crazy sort of African Kung Fu, fully seven feet tall with lanky arms, dreadlocks and blackface and all sorts of rings and piercings. Oh yeah, and a bandana. Kyou toiu rhythm de~ Next to appear was Chesley, looking awfully goth in a small black schoolgirl outfit with a red plaid skirt. She was covered in chains and spikes for no reason. Asu wo misutenaito. Let's Go! The group began to run down the hall, Ryocha jumping onto Gaplants shoulders and bouncing off of him, giving everyone a panty shot as her gigantic cleavage nearly busted out of her shirt. Migaku yuuki ga takara mon da! Ase mamire gai ni magire mazu ha koyoi dance mo iinjyani? Zooming past Ryocha was Thomas, wearing a three piece suit and horribly offcolor sneakers, riding a skateboard and grinning like a madman, he leapt onto the side of the lockers, grinding off of them before doing a triple flip and landing far in front of the rest of the crowd. Binbinbiban tori zumu thunder! Kureiji to yobarerya soremo Good! Aiyori groove no My Life! Everyone lined up again, doing the charlston one more time and then ending the dance with a group pose. Aitai omoi ga~ Everytime miss you! Mitsukete kiss you! Tsunoru yoru ha tsurai. Kakikesu tameno Dance 2 Dance! Bomb A Head! Everybody cheered, hugging and congratulating each other, when Thomas, the obvious captain of team Toudou Gakuen, shook his head. "Guys, we're gonna need to do better than that if we want to win sectionals. And where the hell is Radune?!" Radune was in the locker room, making out with Kuriboh. Again. Nobody really knew why he was so interested in her, because lets face it the girls of Toudou just made the entire RPG jizz themselves. But he was. Nobody could understand the logic of the Swede. "Oh Kuriboh, you take just like cherries, I wonder why~" Radune sighed. He also said some other things, but they included weird characters and dots and umlouts and shit and nobody cared about it. "Oh Daren, you're so Swedish." Kuriboh said, and swooned. Suddenly, Ryocha burst into the room, carrying a sword and a massive set of tits. It was like they were getting bigger and her skirt was getting shorter in every frame. Everybody loves Tenjou Tenge. "Oh hell naw bitch, back the fuck up off of my man." Ryocha said. Nobody messed with the kids of Toudou, so Kuriboh ran away like the road runner in a loony toons sketch. Radune shrugged, and started making out with Ryocha. Everybody got jealous. However, Kuriboh had gotten what she came for. She ran back to St. Jons with a lone piece of paper in hand. The rest of the Toudou team busted in, looking like a gang of superawesome street thugs. "Alright guys, I have news." Thomas said, putting on sunglasses over his sunglasses. "Gaplant found us the most epic song of all, and it is sure to win us sectionals." Gaplant wheeled in a projector, produced a single tape with a big gold star on it, and put it in. Slowly, the kids eyes widened as they saw the song that would win the day. Kuriboh ran back into the classroom, the kids of St. Jons none the wiser. Nobody would learn of her deception until it was too late. Malacai was pouting in the corner, but he immediately picked up his spirits when he read the rest of this paragraph and found out they would be singing Disney songs at sectionals. "You know guys, I'm just not sure I can do this. I mean, I'm much too insecure about myself, and Glee is basically a show for closet gays." Marcus said, hiding the pictures of Brad Pitt and Matt Damon that bedecked his binder. "Hey man, it's okay." Said Chris. Chris was drunk. Chris was always drunk. "What do you mean it's okay. I swear if this becomes something strangely homoerotic." Marcus shuffled to the back of the room, and Chris moved up against him. The rest of the class watched and grinned, Aleksei taking a special interest. Music began to play. Chris went down on his knees, spreading his arms wide as he began to sing. If you were gay That'd be okay I mean cuz' hey I like you anyway Marcus growled, trying to run out of the room, but Chris blocked him. If it were me~ I would feel free to say, that I was gay! But I'm not gay. Marcus continued to run, slamming into Jojo who was face deep in LARPing books. "Marcus, please, I am trying to read." Everybody laughed, and Marcus' face went red. He yelled and turned around, Chris directly behind him with a breath smelling of cheap Kentucky whiskey. I'd still be here Year after year Because you're dear to me And I know that you, would accept me too~ If I told you today Hey guess what! I'm gay! But I'm not gay. Chris continued to advance, Marcus being pushed back into the crowd. He dropped his binder, pictures of boytoy movie stars littering the ground. So what does it matter to me, what you do in bed with guys! Chris leapt, Marcus jumping backwards and into Aleksei's arms. Aleksei blushed, somebody in the back of the crowd adding in. "Hey don't say that it's wrong!" "No it's not." Aleksei responded, making a pretty obvious :3 face. Marcus tore his way out of Alekseis arms, tried to pick up his pictures, while Chris danced around him and continued to sing. I'd shout hooray! And here I'd stay~ But I wouldn't get in your way. Chris accentuated the last line by blocking Marcus's path to the door. Again. Beside you every day! To tell you its okay! You were just born that way! And as they say! It's in your DNA! You're gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Marcus turned around and tried to escape out the window. "I AM NOT GAY!" as he yelled, he found Chris was already outside of the building, awaiting him outside the window. Marcus screamed and fell back in the room, where Chris was waiting behind him. "If you were gay." Chris winked. Marcus immediately retaliated by sending out about fifteen emails. However, the show must go on, and on it went. Somebody would rue, in the end. Jojo put his book down, donned his cape, and moved into the center of the crowd. "Everyone knows, we shall win sectionals. Our setlists are unbeatable, and I RP a lot therefore I win the game!" "It's pretty true." Responded Aleksei. He was wearing a fancy new winter outfit, custom designed by Marianne Faulkner. Look her up, she makes corsets. Basically Aleksei was the best dressed guy in the room, and everyone needed to know. "And due to my scheming, the judges will be St. Jons biased." Kuriboh made a huge V sign, but nobody was listening because the subterfuge needed to stay a surprise. The lot of them sat down and worked out their songs, picking a list that was sure to win the hearts of nerds everywhere. Meanwhile, at Logan River Academy, everybody was looking for a twelfth member. It was bad, Ketara had left the team because Thomas had kicked him in the balls back in 2001. Because of this, he had emo'd out and quit the team. As far as anyone knew, he was sucking cock in a brothel in Amsterdam or something. "What are we gonna do?!" Arcaile said. His consistantly present tense RPing would be unable to save him here. "Man, I wish Ketard wasn't such a tool. He's such a tool. Man I'm angry. So angry. Pretty angry." Cid stormed around the room, looking angry. "Maybe we can get Gray to join?" "Nah, Gray's on another team." Vash responded. They were out of luck. It was in this despair that a small Korean boy appeared in the room, holding a rubix cube and looking very asian. All he did was stand still and sing his song, but it was so magical that everyone was transported to a mystical Korean universe, their minds eyes all seeing the same image. Everyone was taken back by the amazement of the young Azns voice. Jim had made the team, and they were going to sectionals after all. Meanwhile, somewhere in Paris, Ketara was devising an evil scheme to have a Gundam Fight with the Eiffel Tower. *Dan Activates Skype Invisibility Cloak* [1:43:44 AM] sakurafanelia: Well, Dan's gone. So that's good. [1:43:46 AM] sakurafanelia: ... [1:43:49 AM] sakurafanelia: sakurafanelia sighs [1:45:06 AM] Jesper Malm Nilsson: Heh. [1:45:14 AM] Jesper Malm Nilsson: He really likes to annoy you, huh? [1:45:24 AM] sakurafanelia: I think he likes me. [1:46:07 AM] sakurafanelia: But definitely does not respect me. [1:46:38 AM] Jesper Malm Nilsson: Yeah, that sounds just about right. "What the hell are you doing?" Aurem and Kyle peered over Dans head, and he quickly closed the monitor to his laptop. "Uhh... I was just..." Dan looked perplexed. He stuffed the laptop back in its case, and tried to think. The rest of the Rainbow Pidgeons singing team crowded around, except for Frenzy, who was busy spying for Berrik, cuz' he's a SPY. Or maybe not since everything in OYW is open to the public, but whatever! "I was just talking to my girlfriend!" Dan exclaimed. People looked at him and laughed. Dan, with a girlfriend? This is the guy who stalks people at comic con, drives behind them to their hotels, takes pictures of them and then brags about it in an IRC chatroom. This is the guy whose last five jobs have been Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, and Blockbuster. This is the guy who cheats his way into fanime by lying and saying he's part of the production crew. Dan with a girlfriend. "My girlfriend who lives... In Canada." Dan threw his laptop out the room and went down on his knees, singing in a horrible voice. I wish you could meet my girlfriend, my girlfriend who lives in Canada. She couldn't be sweeter I wish you could meet her, My girlfriend who lives in Canada! Dan proceeded to get up and dance around the room, everyone else on the Rainbow Pidgeons team doing a conga line. Except for Chan who drew a map of it. She live in Vancouver She cooks like my mother And sucks like a Hoover. While they were singing, Latooni magically turned into a really sexy redhead chick for no reason. Dan proceeded to dance, becoming more and more dramatic and leaping into the air over and over. Just to make sure that everything's okay. It's a pity she lives so far away, in Canada! The lot of them grabbed laptops and did some sort of interperative swimming style shit, waving them around in the air as screensavers fluttered about, creating an amazing display of brilliant colors, Dan singing in the middle of it all. Too bad~ 'Cause I wanted to introduce her to you It's so sad~ There wasn't a thing that she could do But stay in bed with her legs up over her head! Oh! The kids started throwing the laptops in the air, and they turned into a bunch of brilliantly colored rainbow aircraft, which flew around the room and let out smoke trails. Somebody off screen threw Dan a baton, and he continued to dance and sing. But you can't because she is in Canada. I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her So soon I'll be off to Sakura! I mean Vancouver! Shit! Her name is Sakura, she lives in Vancou- She's my girlfriend! My wonderful girlfriend! Yes I have a girlfriend, who lives in Canada!! Everyone moved into two lines, Dan dancing down the center as the rainbow pidgeons kids made waves with their arms, throwing glitter into the air as Dan sang his final line. And right about then Ketara was kicked out of the chat. It was at about that time that Andrew came in. Draco immediately socked him in the face. "WHERE'S MY HEAT HAWK!?" Draco yelled. Everybody pulled the two apart, because it was highschool and that's what you do in highschool. "Dude, I didn't take it. Viktor did." Andrew responded. He shrugged and went back to being better than everybody like he usually is. "Ugh I hate Viktor. What ever happened to Viktor?" Draco asked. The room went dark and an evil voice coming from a wizard robe and hatted individual in the corner crackled out. "I ate him..." "Oh well that makes sense. I bet he tastes like gumbo." Draco added, because for those of you who don't know, Viktor lives in Louisiana. To add even more silliness to the Rainbow Pidgeons lineup, Strikey flew a model of A CERTAIN GUNDAM around the room. "Naw, I kid. I took it. But Draco, I'm only giving it back to you if you can train hard enough to win sectionals for us." Andrew said, lifting his turtleneck up over his mouth so it covered his nose. Draco immediately put on an orange coat with blue shoulderpads and stared back, shaking a fist into the sky. "Oh, we'll win sectionals. Believe it!" The scene shifted to a snowy mountain peak in Alaska, high above the metagaming and futility of the lesser world. At the peak, two announcers sat beneath a giant Republican flag. Both incredibly fat, one had a shotgun, a kitten, a Nazi armband and wore a kilt, and the other was completely naked and carried a dictionary. "And so, our four teams prepared for sectionals. It would be an epic battle, one that can only be decided tomorrow morning." the man with the dictionary announced. He gave a look from his lawnchair, a gigantic image of Gurren Lagann appearing behind him for a moment for no reason. "That's right James. And by the way, did you know that Obama is going to cut all our gun control? I mean it's ridiculous. Here he says he has no opinion on gun rights, but he's voted consistantly three hundred and seventy four times for stricter gun laws. And not just strict laws, but ridiculous laws. Why, did you know that Canada has more guns per capita than the US does, and less crime? Clearly that means that having guns works, and this point was understood by our founding fathers. If my idol Ron Paul had his way, we would strip government to its bare essentials, and everyone would have guns because the second ammendment says so. Anyway, what were we talking about?" Suddenly Ketara popped over his head, wearing a gigantic red bandana. Perhaps the mountain was really in Tibet and not Alaska?!? "We were talking about G Gundam." He whispered. The kilted man continued. "Thanks. As I was saying, G Gundam is ridiculous. I mean, people punching and kicking each other and an old Chinese guy beating superpowerful mobile weapons to death with a towel? It is absurd. But it does have the Grand Master Gundam, which is awesome. Because it is huge. And Bolt, which is also awesome. Because it is huge and Russian. I have a thirteen point treatise for why Gaia Crusher is the best ultimate attack, and I mean, it's totally clear, you will be amazed when you see how I lay this out. First point is that-" The kilted man was cut off by the man with the dictionary, who had recently procured a glass of lemonade. "Well, that's all the time we have for today. Turn in tomorrow morning on" AND SO, our heroes went to sectionals. Straws were drawn, and lo and behold, the Rainbow Pidgeons were going first. Our announcers atop Mt. McKinley got out their lawn chairs and lemonade, and began to watch the proceeds. Backstage, the Rainbow Pidgeons were preparing. Nirvash was nervous, because that is a great pun, meanwhile Atra was bragging about how much VP he had. Blackmage was eating Strikey, because Strikey had annoyed him, which was bad because they needed twelve members to win. But it was okay, they had their SPECIAL GUEST0. Dan was trolling Andrew, who was busy trolling Dan. It was a troll war. Essentially, they had no leadership. "Guys!" Chan said, moments before they were about to go on. He was dressed in a full length spandex outfit, and for some reason had a very feminine voice today. "Stop being worried. We're going to win." "But why is that??" Frenzy asked. Just then, the curtain was raised, and they were in front of the crowd. Chan turned to the audience and put on a pair of sunglasses. "Because I always win the FFA." He said. Everybody gathered around Chan and started doing backup dancing, while Chan took the solo role in his spandex and feminine voice. I made you believe We're more than just friends. Oh, baby~ Chan began to strut right and left, shaking his shoulders up and down and bobbing his head. Everybody else mimed something similar in perfect unison. But it doesn't mean That I'm serious. 'Cause to lose all my senses... That is just so typically me. Oh, baby baby. He thrusted into the air, putting on a captains hat as he continued to sing. He rolled his shoulders backwards, moonwalking to the back of the stage while the ensemble came up, singing the chorus. I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. Oh, baby baby. Latooni turned around, shaking her short skirted ass in front of the crowd while Nirvash spun around breakdancing. Andrew and Draco picked Chan up on either shoulder, letting him backflip back onto the stage. It was super overdone. That I'm sent from above... I'm not that innocent. While the chorus continued, Chan grabbed a huge bag labeled "mine revenue" and started tossing money at the audience. Suddenly they liked him much more. I'm dreaming away Wishing that heroes, they truly exist. As soon as Chan mentioned the heroes line, Ender appeared on the stage, chasing the cheerleader. Chan kicked Ender in the face, thereby saving the cheerleader and the world. Can't you see I'm a fool In so many ways? Chan moved back to the front, rubbing himself in the spandex and continuing the dance. Several people in the audience began gagging. The chorus continued. That is just so typically me. Baby, oh~ Just then a few people came by with a big trophy, that said "FFA 1st prize" on it. Chan jumped over and grabbed it, throwing it in the air like he'd already won. I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. Oh, baby baby. The backup dancers were given smaller trophies, Dans having size 32 font text. They threw their trophies around, gold glittering across the stage, which started a freaky deaky neon light show. That I'm sent from above... I'm not that innocent. About then Brittney came on the stage, and Chan did this annoying Captain bit with her. It was overdone. While this bit was going on, the audience in the crowd discussed it. Kuriboh had stars in her eyes, she could not look away. Toudou Gakuen tried to sink into their chairs, afraid of the gay, and Marcus couldn't even hear it, he was dressed like Shinji Ikari with a tape player, playing Screaming Infidelities on repeat. After a while the bit was over, and they began singing again. Got lost, in this game, oh, baby. Oops! You, think that I'm sent from above... I'm not that innocent. Chan whipped off his spandex shirt, clad in spandex pants only he began rubbing the trophy around his nipples. The audience became more and more uncomfortable. The backup dancers repeated themselves over and over, the chorus repeating twice until the song ended. I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. Oh, baby baby. Oops! ... You think I'm in love. That I'm sent from above... I'm not that innocent. And with that it was the end. As usual, the Rainbow Pidgeons were extremely odd. Nobody clapped at first, but then Kuriboh started clapping like crazy, and everybody else joined in. Everybody except for Toudou Gakuen. Draco immediately moved in front of Chan, pushing him away while dressed in a toga. "And now for something completely different." Draco exclaimed. He held his hand in the air, and Andrew tossed him the heat hawk. Holding the heat hawk high in the sky, he grinned at the crowd while everyone else moved to a single file line in the back. "Now, let me tell you a story about Draco." Andrew said, suddenly wearing a long skirt for no reason. "When Draco heard about OYW4 he refused to join because he couldn't be the Gelgoog, which was the only mobile suit he wanted to play." While he talked, Draco pretended to ignore him, tossing the heat hawk back behind stage. "Eventually he joined as the Prototype Gelgoog, but he and Berrik couldn't get along. So, like a douchebag, he made this secret plan to get his character killed so he could rejoin as EF. He didn't talk to Ketara about it, but Ketara knew." Draco is seen conniving and whispering to the evil voice offstage. "So when he went through with this plan, Ket got mad at him for metagaming, and Berrik insisted that he be removed from the RPG for cheating. For months on, Berrik became his enemy, insisting that he was stealing Zeon plans and giving them to EF. He even banned Draco from IRC, and it was for this that he was de-oped from #rpg and had to make his own chat when he started FI." Draco acts like he is being assaulted, and is pushed offstage. "However..." Andrew continued, looking straight at the crowd in his skirt. "Then he made his new character, and started making sprite comics." Draco suddenly runs back onstage, heat hawk in hand. "From that day forward our boy Draco could do no wrong. He was so hot, steam looked cool..." Andrew ended. Suddenly all the other Rainbow Pidgeons took a step forward in their skirts, and began to sing. Bless my soul, Drac was on a roll Person of the week in evry Zeek opinion poll What a pro, Drac could stop a show Point him at a monster and you're talking SRO He was a no one A zero, zero Now he's a honcho He's a hero Here was a kid with his act down pat From zero to hero in no time flat Zero to hero just like that While the musing Pidgeons continued to sing and dance, Draco began to do pantomymes of his exploits. First he detailed how the evil Ketara had reduced Kuriboh's karma to -666, and how he had singlehandedly brought her back up to positive karma. Oohs and aahs~ And they slapped his face, On ev'ry vase "On every vase" Latooni corrected Andrew with a whack on the head. They continued to sing. Our Drac had cash to burn Now nouveau riche and famous He could tell you, what the Zeek'should earn. Draco continued the pantomime of his exploits, clad in toga and with his heat hawk. He detailed his exploits of making lvl0 troops useful, making absolute maximum use out of as little as one RP. Next he showed how, in OYW4, he piloted the most mobile suits and played the most characters of anybody, dying repeatedly but never giving up. Sweet and undefeated and an awesome 10 for 10 Folks lined up, Just to watch him flex And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs Next he detailed how he had singlehandedly saved FI with so much battle writing, even though Berrik hated him for supposed cheating. He also showed how he had triumphed over Ketara, annoying him to the point that Ketara removed him from the game, only to put him back in two weeks later when he realised he was a major douchebag. Anybody who was mean to Draco was a douchebag. Honey the crowds were, going bonkers He showed the moxie brains, and spunk From zero to hero a major hunk Zero to hero and who'da thunk Next on Dracos list of mimed exploits was how he had woo'd Anastasia into giving him ops in the chat, and was now regularly kicking Ketara. Draco Star! Whose daring deeds are great theater? Draco Star! Isn't he bold? No one braver Isn't he sweet Our fav'rite flavor Draco Star! Draco Star! Draco Star! Draco Star! Draco Star! Draco Star! Dracos next exploited pantomimes showed his activity in OYW5, taking the never played before Zaku Cannon and becoming the highest VP character for an extended period of time, still high on the EXP list eight weeks into the game. He pointed out how he's still destroyed the most ships of any player, singlehandedly stopped Jojo in Africa, taken/retaken more bases than any other player, and had the single longest surviving MS team. Undefeated Riding high, And the nicest guy not conceited Next Draco illustrated his sprite comics, going from what was once shitty RPing with some decent jokes to a character who can RP like shit as long as he makes us laugh with sprite comics, and still get RP rewards from it. In fact, Ketara liked his sprite comics so much, he even let him do a sprite comic battle. A zero, zero Now he's a honcho He's a hero Finally, and most importantly, Draco relayed the story of how he had been hired on to do upgrades and sprites for the shops, singlehandedly turning the OYW shops from awesome, to super mega perfect awesome. Draco had indeed, gone from zero to hero. From zero to hero Drac is a hero Now he's a hero Yes indeed! Draco moved to the back, and there was massive applause, because everybody loves Draco. However, the judges were still not impressed. It was then that Latooni came to center stage, like a secret weapon. She was wearing huge six inch heels, open toe and with diagonal straps going all the way up to her knees. She had a white miniskirt, slightly see through and incredibly small, ruffled, moving up to a red corset. She wore white gloves, and her gorgeous red hair was bedecked with jewelry. Before she began to sing, the special guest of the Rainbow Pidgeons emerged. She was tall and skinny, short red hair going over one eye in bangs. She wore one of those hot EFSF female officer uniforms, a one piece ending in a miniskirt. She had Yoko from Gurren Lagann style boots, and her rank was an Officer Candidate. Finally, she looked like she was entirely constructed from plastic surgury. She grabbed Latooni and they kissed intimately for a moment, then turned around and put their backs to each other. "Oh my god?! Rachel Arronax and Cherish Woods?!" Gray yelled from the stands. His nose began to shoot blood and he fell backwards. With that, Rachel and Cherish began to sing their duet. Do you wanna date my avatar? Rachel and Cherish started to dance with each other, bumping and grinding their bodies together in an erotic display. The entire audience went silent, Jim putting his hand in his pants almost immediately. So many places we can go You'll never see my actual face Our love, our love will be in virtual space The two started to kiss lightly, pulling back and holding hands. Rachel bounced her body downwards slowly, Cherish running her fingers through Arronax's soft red hair. Rachel slowly came back up, licking Cherishes neck before turning around. So many animations I can do Be anything you want me to be C'mon, c'mon, and share a potion with me The two grinded against each other this way now, Cherish holding Rachels hips while Rachel bounced back and forth. Rachel moved her hands back to Cherish's ass, pulling up her EFSF skirt for a moment to reveal a lacy black thong. She's a star And she's hotter than reality by far Wanna date my avatar? The skirt was dropped again, Rachel turning around and kissing Cherish before moving away. She started to do a solo dance, rubbing herself and moving right and left while Cherish watched, a devious grin on her face. I've got slots for what I hold in my hands Don't care what's in your character bank How 'bout, how 'bout a little tank and spank Eventually Cherish motioned for Rachel to move towards her, Rachel obeying instantly. She walked over to Cherish and gave her a kiss, Woods rewarding her with a quick spanking. The males in the crowd started to sweat, Ryocha hitting Radune over the head. Here in cyberspace there's no disease Pick a time, send a tell to me Just pay, just pay a small subscription fee Rachel and Cherish moved towards the front of the stage, jumping off of it and onto the judges table. They danced in front of the two judges, kneeling down and caressing their hair. She's a star And she's hotter than reality by far Wanna date my avatar Suddenly the rest of the Pidgeons moved around them, Rachel and Cherish standing on the table and watching the show. Frenzy moved forward, courting the two in the nerdiest way possible. Looking for group My stats so high You'll be out of the loop Next to move forward was Blackmage, who, like a mage, courted the two by talking about his massive and powerful wizards staff. That you can equip Close your mouth up Ladies this is pure nerdnip Next was Draco, pushing Blackmage aside and exclaiming to them that he is the master of pixellated anything. He was of course still wearing his toga and weilding his heat hawk. A man so stoic I hack and slash Who the heck's more heroic? Finally there was Dan, pushing them all aside. He was singing, but it was just a distraction, as he also had a huge camera and was taking tons of pictures. Cherish and Rachel posed for him before jumping back on stage. Fits me like a glove Just twitter a time I'm ready for love Rachel ran her hands through Cherish's short hair, the two redheads kissing again. Meanwhile in the audience, Anastasia started to get super jealous, chasing Dan out of the theatre. So many places we can go I'm better than a real world quest You'll touch my plus five to dexterity vest Slowly the two moved to the back of the stage, singing between what was becoming a heated makeout scene. They were like vantriloquists, keeping up the song and dance while frenching onstage. I'm just a click away night or day And if you think I'm not the one Log off, log off and we'll be done As they neared the curtains, Cherish turned Rachel around so her back was facing the audience. Bit by bit, she started to undo Rachels corset, skin slowly being uncovered while Rachel continued to dance. Eventually the corset dropped to the ground, Rachel Arronax showing her topless back to the audience. She's a star And she's hotter than reality by far Wanna date my avatar Rachel then picked up Cherish's one piece dress, lifting it over her head and tossing it to the ground in one motion. Nobody could see Cherish behind Rachels exposed back, but it didn't look like she was wearing much of anything. The two continued to kiss, eventually moving back behind the curtains. She's a star And she's hotter than reality by far Wanna date my avatar The audience stood shocked, the chorus slowly fading out into nothing. After a few moments all the males in the theater leaped into the air, giving the rainbow pidgeons a standing ovation s the remainder of them moved offstage. The girls remained seated, Anastasia and Ryocha giving death glares to Dan and Radune respectively. A few minutes later, the Rainbow Pidgeons team had moved to the audience, the boys trying to guard Rachel and Cherish from their new throng of fans. The two secret judges compared notes, while the St. Jons team prepared backstage. "Guys, I'm worried." Anastasia said, because she really doesn't do anything else. "That last team was pretty amazing. How are we gonna beat them?" Kusuriurite added. There was some murmuring amongst the crowd. "Well, lets think about this. They had a good solo. Anybody wanna volunteer to outdo Chan in a solo?" Marcus responded. Always the leader, he was doing his best to encourage the rest of his team. "Gurl, I will make that twink Chan think twice before challenging me." Aleksei said, snapping his fingers and bobbing his head to one side. He was seated in a conveniently placed easy chair with his legs crossed and his hands on his knees. "Alright. And then they had that special guest. Any ideas?" Marcus continued. "I've got that. I have enough secondary characters to make the bridge of the Valley Forge look small." Jojo said. Everybody nodded in agreement immediately. "And then we'll open with that bit we planned." Jon continued, grinning at Marcus. Marcus nodded, and St. Jons put all their hands together. "Should we pray before we start?!?!?!" asked Malacai. "NO." Responded Gray, Anastasia, Kuriboh, Marcus, Chris, Aleksei, Isaiah, Jon, Ender, Kusuriurite and Jojo. And with that, they prepared. On stage, the lights dimmed very low, and after the crowd had quieted down the curtains slowly opened. A single spotlight turned on in center stage, Marcus standing in the middle of it in a white robe, facing away from the crowd with his hands clasped together in front of him. And then, the music began to play. As the music began to play, Marcus slowly turned around and faced the audience, looking stoic and silent. Suddenly Jon appeared from the back, wearing white spandex with tassels everywhere. He slowly advanced, hand outstretched to Marcus as he moved onto the stage. A disco ball above the audience turned on, sparkling glittery lights flashing across the crowd. Why you let the things you did get so out of hand You'd have managed better If you'd had it planned Now why'd you choose such a backward time and such a strange land? Marcus stood perfectly still, refusing to move while Jon circled him, singing the words directly into his face. The disco ball continued to move around, the groovy music hypnotizing everybody. Homestead in '99 had no mass communication While Jon continued to sing, the rest of St. Jons appeared in similar spandex outfits from stage right and stage right. They began to sing in tandem with Jon, forming two staggered lines stage right and stage left. Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong They continued to dance, gyrating their hips and shaking their chests towards Marcus, who remained totally silent. Jon moved in closer, circling the robed man before coming to a stop behind him. Only want to know Only want to know, now Only want to know Only want to know Only want to know Only want to know, now Only want to know As the song continued, everybody stopped moving, holding their hands up like they were praying towards Marcus. At every mention of the name Superstar, they held their hands up to the sky. Jesus Christ Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Superstar Do you think you're what they say you are? Jesus Christ Superstar Do you think you're what they say you are? There was a brief musical interlude, and the singers of St. Jons joined Jon in the circle around Marcus, dancing as they started to quickly circle him. Marcus continued to stand, motionless. Now who d'you think besides yourself was the pick of the crop? Dyrik was he where it's at? Is he where you are? Did Vladimir move a mountain or was that just PR? Did you mean to leave like that? Was that a mistake or Did you know that your leaving would be a record breaker? The line stopped, the singers throwing their right hand and then their left towards Marcus, dancing and shaking their butts at the crowd. Jon led the singing, the many tassels on his outfit swaying with the energy of his dance. Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong Don't you get me wrong, now Don't you get me wrong Kuriboh and Anastasia stood in front of Marcus, shaking their chests at Marcus and smiling while continuing to sing. A second disco ball of many colors lit the stage, the entire audience hall covered in twinkling lights. Only want to know, now Only want to know Only want to know Only want to know Only want to know, now I only want to know While the singing continued, everyone in the audience was encapsulated by the pure grooviness of it all. The audience started to stand, dancing with the rhythm and holding their hands up like a southern church. Jesus Christ Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Superstar Do you think you're what they say you are? Jesus Christ Superstar Do you think you're what they say you are? As the song winded down, the circle of singers broke in the middle, forming two lines behind Marcus and continuing their dance. On the last line of the song Jon went down to his knees, Marcus holding his arms up to the crowd in some sort of crazy 60's symbolism. Jesus Christ Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Superstar Do you think you're what they say you are? Jesus Christ Superstar Do you think you're what they say you are? And with that, the disco balls slowly moved to a stop. Marcus gave a silent bow, the crowd applauding immensly and sitting back in their chairs. The stage stayed dim, Marcus moving to Aleksei and pulling him into the spotlight before moving out of his way. A moment later, Aleksei began to sing. Something is not the same I'm through with playing by the rules Of someone else's game Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep It's time to trust my instincts Close my eyes and leap! Through some sort of crazy homosexual magic, Aleksei was suddenly wearing a suit, his sparkling eyes and perfect bone structure easily visible in the light. The rest of the team moved into the darkness, so everybody could gaze fully on their queen. Defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I am defying gravity And you wont bring me down! Lexi continued his solo, completely into the song and singing towards the back of the crowd. Kuriboh had stars in her eyes, holding her hands together and oogling the faggitude of it all. cause someone says they're so Some things I cannot change But till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of Losing love I guess I've lost Well, if that's love It comes at much too high a cost! People started to sway with the music, encapsulated with Alekseis musical talent. The disco ball started to turn again, Aleksei holding his hand up as if to magically summon its existance. Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity And you wont bring me down! Aleksei moved to the front of the stage as the song began to end, the spotlight following him. His heart beating heavily, he finished with a bang, hitting the high notes perfectly. Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity And never bring me down! bring me down! ohh ohhh ohhhh! As the song ended, the spotlight dimmed and then went out, the audience giving a standing ovation and a brilliant display of applause. Aleksei bowed as the light went out, the stage going silent for a short while. A few seconds later the lights came on again, and a man in an EFGF uniform came on screen, holding a piece of paper. "By orders of the queen, you are to appear onstage. Is she serious? Are they serious? I can't sing. Everybody knows that." Nigel frowned, looking at the audience and sweating profusely. Behind him appeared Melissa and Joe Dzurik, looking at the small man. "Honey, if you're ever going to rescue me you have to be brave. Don't let one little audience scare you." Melissa sighed, massaging Nigels shoulders a bit. Joe stood with his hands crossed over his chest, looking like a penultimate badass. "I really wish you hadn't died Joe. I'm just not ready to lead the platoon." Kyle said, moving onstage and standing next to Nigel and Melissa. "I'm not ready for this yet." Joe sighed, watching as the rest of the ragtag team of heroes entered. Jojo the monkey snuck onstage, leaping onto Nigel and hiding behind his back. Mike Rhea was next, staring at the crowd so much they bumped into Nigel, who almost fell over. He picked himself up, still shocked and sweating profusely. Finally came Andrew Young, slowly and timidly walking onstage. "We've got a long way to go." Joe said. He grabbed a bunch of rifles from offstage, tossing one to each of the 42nd members. To defeat the Zeeks Did they send me daughters When I asked for sons? You're the saddest bunch I ever met But you can bet Before we're through Mister, I'll make a man out of you Kyle accidentally tripped Nigel with his rifle. Meanwhile, Joe tossed a pair of bricks into the air, spinning his rifle around his back and then bringing it up to shoot them both with the same bullet. The cadets went slackjawed. They tried something similar, but Andrew almost ended up shooting Melissa and Nigel tripped over himself. As Nigel stood up Dzurik flipped in front of him, grabbing the rifle out of his hands. But on fire within Once you find your center you are sure to win You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot And you haven't got a clue Somehow I'll make a man out of you They continued on a fantastic montage. Joe threw tomatoes in front of the crowd, doing the exact same gun trick. Nigel failed to do the same, and her tomato landed in Radunes face because he is Swedish. Then Joe gripped his rifle in both hands, blocking rifle shots with it like The One. The cadets started running around the stage, expressing their displeasure in song. I'm never gonna catch my breath.." Nigel said, panting. "Say good-bye to those who knew me!" Rhea added. "Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym.." Kyle said, almost falling over. "This guy's got 'em scared to death!" Jojo chimed in, looking from Nigels back. "Hope he doesn't see right through me." Melissa said, in her girl voice. "Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!" Andrew said. At that the group began to sing again, dodging explosions as fake mortar shells started slamming onto the stage. We must be swift as the coursing river Be a man! With all the force of a great typhoon Be a man! With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon They continued their march, Nigel falling onto the floor out of exhaustion. Jojo tried to pick him up, but hid as soon as Dzurik came around, Joe picking Nigel up off the ground and carrying him on his shoulder as he marched with the rest of the group. Nigel looked very depressed as Joe sang to the man on his shoulder. Heed my every order and you might survive You're unsuited for the rage of war So pack up, go home you're through How could I make a man out of you? Nigel scrambled off of the mans shoulder, grabbing his rifle. He started running much faster than the other cadets, moving around the audience and lapping them before they finished. The other cadets began to cheer. We must be swift as the coursing river Be a man! With all the force of a great typhoon Be a man! With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon Joe started throwing more tomatoes in front of the audience, and this time the cadets hit them. They did some hand to hand combat with their rifles, being awesome now and changing their tune. We must be swift as the Coursing river We are men! With all the force of a great typhoon We are men! With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon~ "Haa!" The cadets yelled, Nigel and the 42nd leaping into the air and kicking while Joe looked on, proud. We interrupt your regularly scheduled FFA to bring you a news broadcast by Lucy and Laurent Auclair. This is Jukons Corner. "You know what I hate? Slutty Korean girls. Not only are they stupider than any other kind of Asian, but they belong to a country with no self esteem, no worldwide importance. Why, if Korea wasn't between Japan and China most weaboos wouldn't even know where it was to begin with." Laurent said, looking incredibly evil. \(^_^)/ replied Lucy. "And now back to the FFA. I hate FFA's. Bullshit events in which I am always present. You know what Ketara? It's getting old! But I guess you have to re-use the same jokes all the time because you're not original or witty at all. Yeah I said it. Somebody has to have the cajones to call you the disrespectful loser that you are." T(O_O)T answered Lucy. "Now back to your regularly scheduled FFA. Don't think I'm gone, EF. This run, I'm going to sit back and let you make a massive Naval fleet. I will let you fall in love with that fleet. And then on Odessa I will steal away into your lines, and punch Revil in the face." Laurent finished. Back on stage, Toudou Gakuen was getting ready to perform. The lights were low, and the audience was thick with suspense. Toudou Gakuen had quite the reputation. "I heard people in this school kill each other for fun." One voice murmured. "Yeah, did you see how they were all carrying swords and spears back stage... I'm kinda scared..." "Maybe we should just let them win... I don't want any trouble." The other schools present were your normal schools, but Toudou Gakuen, it was something special. Nobody messed with the Toudou kids. Nobody who didn't have a deathwish. The crowd was scared, and as the curtain slowly opened there was not a sound amongst the crowd. They all watched as the lights came up, revealing Altoh flanked by the buxom and gorgeous Ryocha and Chesley. All three of them were wearing black... Leotards? The three of them started to sing, altoh holding one hand up like a massive fag while shaking his hips. All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies He started to run around in a circle, kicking into the air. Ryocha and Chesley followed. Up in the club, we just broke up I'm doing my own little thing you Decided to dip but now you wanna trip Cuz another brother noticed me I'm up on him, he up on me dont pay him any attention cuz i cried my tears, gave three good years Ya can't be mad at me The crowd went slackjawed, not expecting this kind of a piece at all. In the back, Aleksei was already standing, dancing with them to the music. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it The three stopped, shaking their hips and waving hands in front of their faces, pointing at their ring fingers. Wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh The lights went low, the three dancers gyrating and shaking their hips in circles. Altoh stared ahead, totally serious, while some of the weaker stomaches in the audience ran to he bathroom. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it "You know, he's doing an impressive job of dancing in heels.." Marcus noted to Chris, pointing out altoh's six inch stilletos. Chris gave him the 'why would you say that' look. hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans acting up, drink in my cup I could care less what you think I need no permission, did I mention Dont pay him any attention Cuz you had your turn But now you gonna learn What it really feels like to miss me Ryocha and Chesley turned around, pointing their asses to the audience while altoh licked his lips, overly exaggerating each line of song. His crotch bulged out of the leotard, making him look like, well, David Bowie. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Aleksei continued to dance, cheering and hollaring and shaking his shoulders to the music, causing quite a scene. Everybody else collectively sank into their chairs. Woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh Altoh continued to dance in the heels, shaking his head right and left and waving a hand back and forth. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it While they were dancing, Latooni snuck back into the audience, having exited to get popcorn from the concession stand. He gave one bag to Radune, one to Nirvash, and one to Zero-0. Woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh Altoh continued to dance, smiling and shaking his hips. Ryocha and Chesley continued backing him up, the three changing key as they continued to sing. I'm not that kind of girl Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve Is a man that makes me, then takes me and delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond Pull me into your arms Say I'm the one you want If you don't, you'll be alone And like a ghost I’ll be gone They started to do ballet across the room, leaping into the air and catching each other, while singing. Aleksei danced with the music, the /m/ crowd enjoyed their entertainment, and everyone else continued to be weirded out. All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies All the single ladies Altoh began to sweat, his recently shaved skin glistening in the spotlight and catching the attention of the crowd, the bulge in his pants pulsating as he danced. woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh The three started shaking their hair and tossing right and left, showing their butts to the crowd again. Aleksei started to cheer. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it woo oh ooh Finally they finished the last verse, Altoh, Ryocha and Chesley gasping for air and smiling. Altoh blew a kiss to the crowd, and the three made their exit. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it woo oh ooh And then, the lights went down. The audience was stunned. Aleksei was the only one clapping. The spotlight came on to show Thomas, wearing a black zoot suit, and holding a microphone. He gave the crowd a used-car-dealer grin, and took a bow. "Ladies and gentlemen. For our second number, we'd like to recreate an event from One Year War Mk 3." He straightened his tie, hoping to get the crowd to forget previous events. "For those of you who are new, the Odessa event in OYW3 starred two player characters, one Aleksander Dolvich, and one Sabine Rocos. Sabine had defected to Zeon earlier in the battle for Constantinople, tricking Alek and getting him captured. However, some two weeks later, at the eve of Odessa, she assassinated Garma Zabi and broke Alek out of prison." Tian muttered something about capture sucking, Thomas grinned and continued. "Well, after that, Alek stole the Efreet Custom, and the two proceeded to destroy the innards of the fortress. However, the Efreet went berserk, and before Alek could shut it down he killed almost a dozen of his own men. So, after this, we had a trial... Thomas walked away, the light dimming on the stage as he finished his announcement. "Without further ado, I'd like to present, straight from the year 2004, the trials of Aleksander Dolvich and Sabine Rocos, in which Sabine got her callsign, 'Superstar.'" Aleksander Dolvich was sitting in his cell, in the murderers ward of the cellbocks of Jaburo. In the ward were another six individuals, all accused of killing fellow soldiers. As he awaited his trial, he couldn't help but worry. He'd asked for a high priced lawyer from uptown Chicago, and was hoping he would arrive in time. But, in order to sustain his worried mind, he started to wonder what his other inmates had done. And, as soon as he did, the lights went black, and the cell doors swung open. Instantly, James "Emokid" Amundson appeared on the scene, playing a piano. He began to speak, and all the ladies in the room instantly fell in love with him. "And now the six merry murderers of the Jaburo Jail in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'" All six of the inmates exited their cells in a very hipsteresque fashion. They began to snap their fingers to James' beat, while starting to sing. Pop! Six! Cards! Uh uh! Jaburo! Eldoreth! Pop! Six! Cards! Uh uh! Jaburo! Eldoreth! Pop! Six! Cards! Uh uh! Jaburo! Eldoreth! Then they all started to dance. Girls appeared out of nowhere, namely Rei Ayanami, Sorhyu Asuka Langley, and Maya, Ritsuko, her mother and Misato were there too. They started to dance seductively around the inmates, who began singing rather loudly. Pop! Six! Cards! Uh uh! Jaburo! Eldoreth! Pop! Six! Cards! Uh uh! Jaburo! Eldoreth! Then one inmate, Ketara, started to speak. Rei Ayanami danced around him in her white and black plug suit. The lights went off the rest of the inmates, and a spot came above his head. "You know how people have these little habits That get you down. Like Aku. Aku liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. So I went to the barraks one day, and I am really irritated, and looking for a place to cool down. And there's Aku layin' on MY bunk, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took my FN 5-7 and I fired off two warning shots... ...into his head." Ketara moved out of the spotlight, and the group began to sing again. He had it coming! He only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there! If you'd have heard it! I betcha you would Have dome the same! And the next inmate came up, one Dyrik Shinagami. Ritsuko was dancing around him. "I met Laura from Salt Lake city about two years ago and she told me she was single. and we hit it off right away. So, we managed to get in the same team. She'd go on patrol, she'd come back to base, I'd fix her a drink, We'd bang like rabbits. And then I found out, "Single" she told me? Single, my ass. Not only was she married ...oh, no, she had six boyfriends, too. One of those bloody whores, you know. So that night, when she came home, I fixed her a drink as usual. You know, some girls just can't hold their arsenic." And the group began to sing agian. He had it coming! He only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there! If you'd have heard it! I betcha you would Have done the same! Then Kirin Desantsu came to the fore. Around him danced Asuka "Now, I'm standing by a tree doing my thing, minding my own business, and in storms my teammate Amanda, in a jealous rage. "You been cheatin' at cards!" she says. She was crazy and she kept screamin', "you been cheatin' at cards!" And then she ran into my cardboard tube. She ran into my cardboard tube ten times!" If you'd have seen it! I betcha you would have done the same! In came Jack Nonerui. Around him danced Misato. He was trying to get his point across, to no avail. "Ore no hanasu to Tupac ni Big Blue wo arimashita. Brenden to little B wa imasu. Cocaine! Cocaine! Wakarimasen de kudasai... Then a random Canadian guy asked "Yeah, but did you do it?" "UH UH, not guilty!" "Damn. That's a lot of suck." Then in came a very, very dark and sinister figure, named Liam. Dr. Akagi was dancing around him, before he bit her in the neck and sucked her vitae dry. "I was looking for a new haven one night, running from Aymon Noltess. Bastard Assamites. Anyway, I found this giant, underground facility. Plenty of kine everywhere. But for some reason, they tried to put me to work. Typing on one of those forsaken magic boxes. So I killed them. I killed all of them." And the group began to sing again. They had it coming! They had it coming all along! I didn't do it! But if I done it! How could you tell me that I was wrong? And then the last person, a girl, one Angel Anayami, came to the fore. Around her danced Maya, which was a little strange. "I loved Eldoreth Kaladejimaya more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Anya, Jet, Lacein and Terry. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive, and I saw him dead." And finally, the group came in again, singing with an amazing vigor. "You pop that gum one more time!" "Single my ass." "Ten times!" "Wakanai de gozaru ma niggas!" "They were delicious." "Artistic differences." And with that, the lights went out. About an hour later, Aleksander was to have his trial. Luckily, just before his trial, Aleksanders lawyer managed to arrive. He was wearing a very, very sparkly suit, and had the coolest look to him you ever did see, as if he was oozing wit. "Bello, my lad. Thomas Sauntier, nice to meet you." "Thomas! I'm glad you made it in time! But, how are you going to win me this case?! My defense SUCKS." "Alek, you got nothing to worry about. It's all a circus, kid. A three ring circus. These trials- the whole world- all show business. But kid, you're working with a star, the biggest!" And with that, Thomas and Aleksander walked into the coutroom, where Revil, Ryer and Helsing awaited. Thomas began to dance and sing. The girls of white base, Sayla, Mirai, Frau Bo, and many others, came up to Thomas in glittery outfits, and began to dance around him. Glitter was thrown in the air everywhere, as if to paint the courtroom gold. Razzle Dazzle 'em. Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate. Give 'em the old hocus pocus! Bead and feather 'em. How can they see with sequins in their eyes? Thomas began to show all sorts of evidence to the judges, mostly nonsensical, animated and pornographic, or having to do with Romance of the 3 Kingdoms. What if, in fact, you're just disgusting? Razzle Dazzle 'em, And they'll never catch wise! And then the girls began to sing as well. Razzle dazzle 'em. Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous Row after row will crow vociferous! Give 'em the old flim flam flummox. Fool and fracture 'em! How can they hear the truth above the roar? Throw 'em a fake and a finagle! They'll never know you're just a bagel. Razzle dazzle 'em, And they'll beg you for more! Continuing with his strange style of lawyering, Thomas began to show slides about South Park, and Chewbacca. In the meantime, he bribed Revil 500 RP for some naughty pictures of Kycillia Zabi. Daze and dizzy 'em! Back since the days of old Methuselah, Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler. Give 'em the old three ring circus! Stun and stagger 'em! When you're in trouble, go into your dance~ Though you are stiffer than a girder They'll let you get away with murder! Razzle dazzle 'em, And you've got a romance! Finally, Thomas pulled out the Blue Destiny Manga, and started showing Ryer how EXAM systems worked. Razzle dazzle 'em! Show 'em the first rate sorceror you are. Long as you keep 'em way off balance How can they spot you've got no talent! Razzle Dazzle 'em! Throwing the book into the air, it exploded in a cloud of confetti. The entire room glittered with golden stuff, and the girls began to sing in extremely high pitches. Thomas threw his arms in the air, turning around. With that, the tribunal was convinced. The lights went down, coming back up with all of Toudou on stage. Advocate, Daren, Feyd, Tylatz, Ryocha, Bigby, Chesley, Altoh, Gaplant, Janadian, Thomas and Radune all posed, carrying swords and skateboards and sticks and all manner of thug life weaponry. Gaplant moved to center stage, grinning and pointing his fist at the crowd. "And now, we will give you what you've been waiting for. The ultimate in manly songs! Our super robot spirit will be the drill that pierces the heavens! Don't believe in us, believe in the you that believes in us!" Everybody got confused, but Gaplant knew exactly what he was talking about. "And now, without further ado, we bring you, Heats!" Gaplant took a few steps back. In the crowd, Kuriboh grinned silently, spinning Toudous Heats CD on a finger. Her seducing of Radune had worked perfectly. However, just before the music began to start, Daren, Tylatz, Ryocha, Altoh, Gaplant, Thomas and Radune all looked at each other wide eyed, since they're all more or less newtypes. "This isn't Heats!" Ryocha said, her boobs shaking every time she talked. "... We'll just have to wing it! Here I go!" Gaplant answered. They began to sing the instant the music played. Rappingu ga seifuku...daa furi tte kotanai pu. Ganbaccha yacchaccha Son to kyaacchi & Release gyoh Ase (Fuu) ase (Fuu) no tanima ni Darlin' darlin' FREEZE!! Gaplant tossed his head to one side, moving low and snapping both his fingers while everybody else began to back up dance. They all danced around the room, pulling out swords and other weapons and jumping in the air as they sang. Aishiteruu aree ikko ga chigatteru n ruu Nayaminbouu koutetsubouu Oishinboo iikagen ni shi nasai Thomas started to breakdance in the middle, Radune doing backflips across the stage. Chesley magically turned herself into a little girl, doing a pattycake with little girl Ryocha in their oversized clothes. Iwayuru futsuu no onya no ko Odoroita atashi dake? Tonkotsu harigane o-kawari da da da Advocate grabbed a cake and started spinning it on a finger like a basketball, sparring with Gaplant while tossing the cake in the air, keeping it aloft. He threw it after a while, Gaplant cutting it into a zillion pieces and each landing in an audience members lap. Let's get! Cherry pie RAN-RAN kangeekai Look up! Senseeshon Hai! Sonzaikan tenten shouwakusei Butsukatte tokemashita boozen Ooi ni utatte shirenjaa Little girls Chesley and Ryocha jumped onto Thomas's shoulders, doing dances while Thomas posed on his skateboard, hands inside his suit pockets. Saigo ni waracchau no wa atashi no hazu Seeraa fuku da kara desu ketsuron Getsuyoubi na no ni! Kigen warui no dou suru yo? Natsufuku ga ii no desu Kawaii Tylatz acted African and black for no reason, while Altoh rocked this song just as well as Beyonce, Lucky Star being his kind of show after all. Ganbatte harikitte My Darlin' darlin' PLEASE!! Daren and Feyd flipped into the front of the stage, doing the charleston like they had practiced before. Gaplant crashed in between them, the three punching and kicking while they danced. Koishitarii mada naisho ni shi to ite rinrii Amaenbouu youjinbouu Tsuushinboo chooshi koite gyokusai Back on the stage, Kuriboh bit her lip, wondering how the Gakuen kids could dance so well on the fly. It's easy when more than half your team are newtypes, after all. Oogesa chiraari kuro niihai Zettai ja n ryouiki ja n? Namaashi tsurupika o-nedari da da da Gaplant flipped back onto Thomas's skateboard, Thomas leaping onto Gaps shoulders. The three flew around like a makeshift Getter Machine, Ryocha and Chesley still dancing on top of Thomas. Thomas leapt off as he moved by Radune, nearly punching his ears off. Let's go! paru shinden YAI-YAI sooran bushi What's up? Tenputeeshon Oi! Soushitsukan zenzen arubaito Sagashitara mitsukatte toozen Jinsei marutto kenennaashi Bigby and Janadian donned Master Chief outfits, shooting each other with paintball rounds and trying to look important, because nobody really knew who they were. Shinki ni neracchau no wa atashi no chousen Seeraa fuku kigaete mo atashi Shuumatsu wa dou yo? Chira mise nante arikitari! Seifuku wa kantan yo rakuchin The group formed a circle again, tossing their weapons backstage and then turning around, shaking fists and hopping off the stage, their energy and manly spirit overwhelming. Mune dokkin koshi zukkin I'm Sugar sugar SWEET!! After this there was a long musical interlude, the group chatting with each other like a bunch of Japanese cheerleaders. Chesley and Ryocha became big again, shaking their short skirts at the crowd. As the music started back up, a bunch of pom poms were thrown at them from offstage, and the group formed a cheerleader line, Altoh and Gaplant in the center. Let's get! Uh Uh Ah! RAN-RAN chop chop kick Look up! Fu Fu Ho! HI! Education!! Love is ABC Undaka daa undaka daa unya unya Hare tte hore tte hiren raa The line kicked and cheered, shaking their hips and pompoms and jumping around. They simply couldn't miss a beat. Saigo ni waracchau no wa atashi no hazu Seeraa fuku da kara desu ketsuron Getsuyoubi na no ni! Kigen warui no dou suru yo? Natsufuku ga ii no desu Kawaii Ryocha and Kuriboh went small again, their little girl selves jumping on Thomas's shoulders. The line hopped towards the front of the stage, kicking and making waves with the pom poms. Saigo ni waracchau no wa atashi no hazu Seeraa fuku da kara desu ketsuron Finally the song began to die down, the group flipping back to the back of the stage. On the last line they threw their pom poms collectively in the air, the golden balls landing in front of them while they heaved and panted, having finished their impromptu song and dance. Rappingu ga seifuku...yoshi furi tte kotanai po. Ganbaccha yacchaccha An to kyaappu & jaaji de hah Asease de suketara Darlin' darlin' AMUSE!! Kuriboh shook a fist angrily at the sky, having been beaten by Toudou Gakuen yet again. The crowd cheered, and Gaplant pointed his fist towards the heavens. With that, everyone exited. It was now time for the final team to take center stage. Logan River Academy. Logan River Academy performed, but they were sucky and nobody cared about them, mostly because Ketara ran out of impetus to be funny and wanted to make Tian and Cid upset. And then Dozle died. So, anyway, all of the teams came out on stage and took a bow. Suddenly the lights went dim, and the mystery judges appeared in spotlight, to say what they thought of the whole event. 1st place - Liliana 4 VP gained, 3 CP gained 2nd place - Nigel Ferdinand, 5 VP gained 3rd place - Xavier Brennan, 4 VP gained Jim Irwin, 3 VP gained Jay Tessa, 3 VP gained Jack Murphy, 3 VP gained Cray Vermillion, 3 VP gained Aurem Senaiha, 3 VP gained Emil Myberg, 3 VP gained Marc Simmons, 3 VP gained Thorvald Siggurdson, 1 VP gained Marion, 2 VP gained Rachel Arronax, 3 VP gained Michael Kreuz, 4 VP gained Jack Verse, 3 VP gained Jane Sheppard, 3 VP gained Hirsch Munchek, 3 VP gained Derek Carter, 4 VP gained Bigby Wolfe, 3 VP gained Jarvis Ackart, 3 VP gained Cato Goloni, 4 VP gained Arden Massenfer, 4 VP gained Rhett Paruta, 3 VP gained Ota Naomi, 4 VP gained Noelle Everett, 3 VP gained Markos Steiner, 3 VP gained Marko Dresner, 4 VP gained Duncan Keystone, 3 VP gained Alain Grace, 1 VP gained Marion, 2 VP gained Ando Shoji, 3 VP gained Richard Banks, 3 VP gained Nadia Adelaide, 3 VP gained Caleb DeGrau, 3 VP gained Wu Jinyuan, 4 VP gained Persephone Dawn, 3 VP gained Florian Cuyler, 4 VP gained Ferusha Glavadeen, 3 VP gained Aldo P. Armistad, 3 VP gained Yuji Takeshi, 3 VP gained Rose Adeline, 3 VP gained Ritter Novosad, 3 CP gained Laredo Veil, 3 VP gained Samuel Riley, 2 VP gained, 2 CP gained Mahara Villina, 2 VP gained, 2 CP gained John Cassidy, 2 VP gained, 1 CP gained James Radcliffe, 1 VP gained, 2 CP gained Des Mielle, 3 CP gained Addie Joiner, 1 VP gained, 2 CP gained Aisha Vemunio, 2 VP gained, 2 CP gained |