[02:40] <Flession> You have entered the door to the North. You are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent scent of mildew emanates from the wet dungeon walls.
[02:40] <Flession> What are you doing now?
[02:42] <Bradigan> I piss on the wet dungeon walls.
[02:42] <Flession> roll to hit
[02:42] <Draco> X)
[02:42] <Bradigan> What kind of die?
[02:42] <Flession> d20 to hit
[02:43] * Draco rolls a 14.
[02:43] <Flession> your firehose is up for the job, Draco, as you write your name on the wall, dealing it 2 acid damage
[02:43] <Bradigan> 1d20+0 8+0 = 8
[02:44] <Latooni> : d20, 10, 7, 6 , Total: 23
[02:44] <Latooni> whoops
[02:44] <Latooni> forgot the 1
[02:44] <Flession> as you start to releave yourself, Bradigan, you realise you forgot to unzip your pants, letting loose your attack on yourself.
[02:44] <Bradigan> Ryan Payne the Panzercop...
[02:44] <Bradigan> X_X
[02:45] <Bradigan> Perhaps then my group of panzers would level after attacking a freaking base =P
[02:45] <Bradigan> I would be too distracted if I did
[02:46] <Bradigan> Ritter's RPs would be ruined by him stopping out of no where, staring at Ryan, and demanding "Say it."
[02:46] <Draco> X) They'd be too busy peeing themselves, appearantly.
[02:47] <Bradigan> Pissing ourselves would not hinder us in the least!
[02:47] <Draco> It would even help because your enemies would laugh themselves dead.
[02:49] <Flession> it's like having them under the effects of Tasha's hideous laughter
[02:51] <Flession> Dan, you make sure urinate all over the wall, breathing in the ammonia deeply, roll a fort save vs dizziness
[02:51] * Draco rolls a 13.
[02:51] <Bradigan> 20 again?
[02:51] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 7,+0 Total:7
[02:52] <Flession> Bradigan falls to the ground, dizzy from the fumes of Dan's bodily waste. Draco gets wobbly, but manages to stay up
[02:53] <Bradigan> Oh my.
[02:53] <Bradigan> I feel like Tael...
[02:53] <Strikey> ...
[02:53] <Bradigan> Too soon?
[02:54] * Draco runs away.
[02:54] <Bradigan> I WILL ROLL TO SEE IF IT IS TOO SOON!
[02:54] <Mother-Russia> What's your flavour, tell me what's your flavour.
[02:54] <Latooni> : 1d20, 14 , Total: 14
[02:54] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 10,+0 Total:10
[02:54] <Draco> Mine is....elderberry.
[02:55] <Bradigan> Pralines and Dick
[02:55] <Flession> Tael jokes are acceptable at this point
[02:56] <Flession> Draco, you make tons of noise as you leave your piss-soaked comrades on the ground, and you are attacked by ogres.
[02:57] <Bradigan> I try to bribe the DM with weed!
[02:57] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 4,+0 Total:4
[02:57] <Bradigan> I think the die on this website is broken.
[02:57] -->| Jon (~Kyukei@hidden-IP-2038DFE3.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #rpg
[02:57] <Flession> it would appear so
[02:57] <Jon> j0
[02:57] |<-- Kyle_Physalis has left irc.blufudge.net (Quit: )
[02:57] <Bradigan> Roll to repair
[02:58] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 2,+0 Total:2
[02:58] <Bradigan> ... =(
[02:58] * Draco rolls a 3!
[02:58] <Bradigan> I like to roll now, but completely suck at it
[02:58] <Draco> AGGRESS!
[02:58] * Draco gets out a set of encyclopedias.
[02:58] <Flession> As you attempt to pass off some maui wowie, you are caught as the DM is actually a undercover cop. Roll diplomacy
[03:00] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 8,+0 Total:8
[03:00] <Flession> wow
[03:00] <Flession> the dice just don't love you
[03:01] <Bradigan> But I can't waste a single roll now!
[03:01] <Bradigan> I know the second I click that roll button without meaning...It will be a 20!
[03:01] <Draco> Owch.
[03:01] <Bradigan> Wait
[03:01] <Bradigan> All of these rolls are awesome patrol rolls...why AM I WASTING THEM!>
[03:01] <Bradigan> KET! COUNT MY ROLLS!
[03:02] <Flession> The DM does not believe your story about you holding it for a friend and you are sent to jail, all the while a man named blackninja is sitting there smiling at you, putting on his robe and wizard hat. Roll Intimidate
[03:03] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 7,+0 Total:7
[03:03] <Bradigan> What's even worse is the 2nd site I started using...
[03:03] <Bradigan> It keeps the log to show me I suck
[03:03] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 7,+0 Total:7 Roll(1d20)+0: 8,+0 Total:8 Roll(1d20)+0: 2,+0 Total:2 Roll(1d20)+0: 4,+0 Total:4 Roll(1d20)+0: 10,+0 Total:10 Roll(1d20)+0: 7,+0 Total:7 NOTES ------------------------- This field records your latest roll at its top. Modified results that would produce a number less than one display as one.
[03:04] <Flession> ROFL
[03:04] <Jon> What is all dis?
[03:04] <Flession> bloodninja is not amused, as he casts Level 3 Eroticism on you. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
[03:05] <Bradigan> Oh shit.
[03:05] <Bradigan> Nice.
[03:05] <Bradigan> Can I cash out now?
[03:05] <Flession> lol, sure
[03:05] <Bradigan> Wait no!
[03:05] <Bradigan> I wish to masterbate.
[03:05] <Flession> roll to grope
[03:06] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 10,+0 Total:10
[03:06] <Moshie> lol
[03:06] <Bradigan> Can I roll to go into a depressive state?
[03:07] <Flession> sure, but do know you get a +4 bonus on your rolls because your attempt to masterbate was horrible, since you obviously don't know how to find your own G-Spot
[03:07] <Bradigan> ...
[03:07] * Draco rolls to attack ogres.
[03:07] <Jon> ...
[03:07] <Bradigan> Are you sure that's only +4, feels like more.
[03:07] * Draco got a 1. D:
[03:07] <Jon> I CAST MAGIC MISSILE ON THE DARKNESS
[03:07] <Bradigan> ...
[03:07] <Latooni> women get -4 str
[03:08] <Bradigan> Well that suits me
[03:08] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+4: 17,+4 Total:21
[03:08] <Flession> ROFL
[03:08] <Flession> AHAHAHAHAA
[03:08] <Flession> you're...you're in a depressive state. You turn on Linkin Park and start making LJ posts with really horrible poetry.
[03:09] <Bradigan> Depressive woman, coming through.
[03:09] <Bradigan> Anyone have black eye shadow?
[03:09] <Flession> roll a search check
[03:09] <Bradigan> Er
[03:09] <Bradigan> Forgot to fix it
[03:09] <Bradigan> not like it matters much, remove the +4
[03:09] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+4: 2,+4 Total:6
[03:10] <Bradigan> GOD I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING IN MY FUCKING PURSE! >< EVER
[03:10] <Flession> you don't find your own black eyeshadow, seemingly getting even more depressed, you grab a razor blade and start to cut. Roll to hurt yourself to feel!
[03:10] =-= Jon is now known as TrollsTrollingTrolls
[03:11] <Draco> Can I roll to disown Braddigan?
[03:11] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 18,+0 Total:18
[03:11] <Bradigan> This is bullshit
[03:11] <Bradigan> I should just die
[03:11] <Flession> roll to kill yourself
[03:11] <Bradigan> Roll(1d20)+0: 14,+0 Total:14
[03:12] <Bradigan> Well? Do I get to die? I dont know what the rolls mean...
[03:12] <Bradigan> I'm just happy I havent slept with anyone in the chat yet....tonight.
[03:12] <Flession> you successfully manage to end your life, writing a deeply beautiful susicide note, hoping then someone will notice your passing. Unfortunatly, no one does and within a week, your memory is faded
[03:13] <Flession> Congrats on becoming An Hero!
[03:13] <Latooni> BAD END
[03:13] <Bradigan> Flession, you are getting mentioned by name in my real suicide note.
[03:13] * Flession falls out of the chair
[03:13] <Moshie> that was the best end you could have had lol
